Consequence: Helping Us Bucked-Teeth Brothers Out!
By Khalil Amani
I was born with an overbite—bucked-teeth! My mom had an overbite. I was called “Bucky Beaver,” “Chipmunk” and “Crunchy”—after the Cheetos character for having bucked-teeth. My mom and pop never saw fit to get their son braces, even though we were a military family with Champus insurance. Getting braces would’ve been practically free. Getting braces would’ve saved their son the heartache of being called names on the playground by cruel children.
(Awwww! I was a cute teenager! Bucked teeth and all!)
Having bucked-teeth makes one self-conscious. My smile is never a full-on smile. Over the years I’ve given less and less about what people think about my overbite, but it’s still a sore spot. It didn’t help matters when my oldest daughter, in the middle of an email argument said I had “ratchet teeth!” Damn! Yes! She went there on her own daddy! Shot waaaay below the belt and talked about her daddy’s flawed aesthetics—but I ain’t gonna blog about disrespectful chirr’ren—it would be like “The pot calling the kettle black,” because she was cursed with her daddy’s and grandmother’s overbite too—albeit, nowhere near as bad as daddy’s.
Enter “Love & Hip-hop…”
Have you seen the new cast of “Love and Hip-hop” (New York)? They have a rapper, producer dude on there named “Consequence”—a Muslim who’s living with his beautiful white girlfriend “Jen the Pen.” Niggas in the blogosphere are goin’ in on his (bucked) teeth. Even a member of the cast of Love & Hip-Hop called him “Bucky Beaver.”
Bucked-Teeth and all–don’t think that Consequence is of no consequence! Dude has a long resume’ dating back to A Tribe Called Quest–a Ghost writer of importance–someone who’s worked with the likes of Kanye West, Beyonce, Common, Talib Kweli and John Legend. Consequence is no upstart!
Does he have bucked-teeth in the classical sense? No. Usually bucked-teeth are the two front teeth that protrude over the bottom teeth. In Consequence’s case, his whole upper teeth
hang over protrude. I’m not sure, but I think he is a victim of dentistry gone awry. Those can’t be the teeth he was born with! I mean, they are white and straight and all—but appear to be a little too big for his mouf. They might be a partial plate or even dentures.
With all the money that he has—or has had, I would think that he would’ve had the best reconstructive work done on his mouth—being in the public-eye and all. Whatever the case, if I were him, my main focus in life would be to get my jibs looking as natural as possible. (I’m still hoping to make a millli so I can have some porcelain veneers and a diamond in my mouf! Good-bye bucked-teeth!)
Consequence is not the first famous person with bucked-teeth. Consider other celebrities who’ve rocked the overbite like Kerry Washington (I’d lick her teeth!), Eva Mendes (I’d kiss her all night!), Jennifer Simpson, Julia Roberts, Geena Davis (of Thelma & Louise fame), 50 Cent, Chris Rock, Cicely Tyson, Joe Budden’s girlfriend Kaylin Garcia and the First Lady Michelle Obama. Indeed, some overbites are sexy as hell!
Speaking of Bucked-teeth, has anyone spied Miami rapper Brisco’s teef?
But I’ve gotta give Consequence props! He’s making us bucked-teeth brothas proud! He may even be making it fashionable to rock bucked-teeth! Say what you want about Con’s teeth—dude is getting paid—dude has a bad chick—and dude isn’t afraid of his own flaws. If bucked-teeth are the worse flaw a person can have—then is that really a bad thingy? It’s not like he’s ugly! There are a lot more rap niggas with perfect teeth who are uglier than a muthafucka! (Think Lil Wayne)
Yeah, I’ll take bucked-teeth over ugliness any day! See? I have an
bucked-teeth overbite too!
Khalil Amani writes for DJ Kay Slay’s Originators Magazine & Straight Stuntin Magazine. He is the author of six books, including the ground-breaking book, “Hip-Hop Homophobes…” (iuniverse.com 07). Amani is gay hip-hop’s self-proclaimed straight advocate. Visit The Coonerific One at www.khalilamani.ning.com Follow on Facebook/Twitter @khalilamani. Youtube @ yahweh 12